Know thyself

Among the things I've done in the past few months, there are a couple of things I can point to and say "I have accomplished THIS." First is the MCAT that I wrote in mid-September, and the second is the mémoire for my Masters of Statistics. The grueling, torturous struggle I went through to complete the latter, in particular, has driven home the fact that a career in academics is not for me. I'm just not that into it. I'm not good at forcing myself to slog through a research problem for months and months and produce a paper on some undetermined timetable. The satisfaction I get out of it is insufficient. There's always something that could be fixed, something that could be improved, something that should be justified further, explained better. In short, I'm a tad too perfectionist for this, and never fully satisfied with my final product. But at the same time, I really enjoy learning new stuff. I had a total blast the year I was taking courses for my Masters in Geneva. It was stressful, but very fulfilling. Which brings me to the first thing: the MCAT. I studied two and a half weeks for it, starting when I first decided to write the thing. And I got a very good score, in the 97th percentile or so (except for the essay part, I suck at writing essays under time pressure). And this was very satisfying, I felt well repaid for the time I spent studying like a maniac.

So why is this so? In terms of hours spent working, I'm sure I worked more in the year I was taking courses. In terms of acute stress, I'm sure I was a lot more stressed during exam time than at any point in the year I spent working on my mémoire. Yet I felt more depressed, more discouraged, more dissatisfied, and less well working on it. Taking into account my experience with the crazy MCAT business, I think my talent is learning stuff and then taking an exam. And I enjoy it. Which leads me to conclude that I should find a career as a student. Anyone want to hire me as a professional student?