Know thyself

Among the things I've done in the past few months, there are a couple of things I can point to and say "I have accomplished THIS." First is the MCAT that I wrote in mid-September, and the second is the mémoire for my Masters of Statistics. The grueling, torturous struggle I went through to complete the latter, in particular, has driven home the fact that a career in academics is not for me. I'm just not that into it. I'm not good at forcing myself to slog through a research problem for months and months and produce a paper on some undetermined timetable. The satisfaction I get out of it is insufficient. There's always something that could be fixed, something that could be improved, something that should be justified further, explained better. In short, I'm a tad too perfectionist for this, and never fully satisfied with my final product. But at the same time, I really enjoy learning new stuff. I had a total blast the year I was taking courses for my Masters in Geneva. It was stressful, but very fulfilling. Which brings me to the first thing: the MCAT. I studied two and a half weeks for it, starting when I first decided to write the thing. And I got a very good score, in the 97th percentile or so (except for the essay part, I suck at writing essays under time pressure). And this was very satisfying, I felt well repaid for the time I spent studying like a maniac.

So why is this so? In terms of hours spent working, I'm sure I worked more in the year I was taking courses. In terms of acute stress, I'm sure I was a lot more stressed during exam time than at any point in the year I spent working on my mémoire. Yet I felt more depressed, more discouraged, more dissatisfied, and less well working on it. Taking into account my experience with the crazy MCAT business, I think my talent is learning stuff and then taking an exam. And I enjoy it. Which leads me to conclude that I should find a career as a student. Anyone want to hire me as a professional student?

Things I miss

This weekend is the wine festival in Bourgogne. We went both years we were in Geneva, taken there by some generous wine-loving friends. These two occasions are among my fondest memories of Europe. (I confess that thoughts of the wine figure rather more prominently than they perhaps should in my daydreams of living in Europe again.) As I think back to the good times we had, I can almost smell the wine fermenting in oaky barrels ... the dim lighting in the wine cellar ... the crunch of the salty homemade crackers in between mouthfuls of wine ... racks upon racks of dusty wine bottles...

Here are a few pictures, while I go soak in the nostalgia...





"Mais du Bourgogne tout le temps." Indeed.

Winter is coming

Today, as I was walking through Rittenhouse Square, I saw a little three or four year old boy chasing pigeons. I couldn't help noticing that the pigeons were looking rather more plump than usual. Stocking up for winter, no doubt.